geek_code/Geek Code 0.3.html

<TITLE>Geek Code</TITLE>
<H1>The Code of the Geeks</H1>
<H2>version 0.3</H2>

Suggestions welcome.    <P>

<ADDRESS> Robert A. Hayden:  hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu  </ADDRESS>  <P>

So you think you are a geek, eh?  The first step is to admit to yourself
your geekiness.  No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks
have rights.  So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a
geek.  Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever.  <P>

How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask?  Use the universal Geek code. 
By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this special code
that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a
simple, codified statement.  <P>

---------------------  <P>

Type:  <P>


Geeks come in many flavors.  The flavors relate to the vocation of the
particular geek.  To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to
be a geek.  To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK",
followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks occupation. 
Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocation should denote their myriad
of talents with a slash between each vocation (example:  GCS/MU/T).  <P>

<UL>
<LI> 	GCS	--  Geek of Computer Science
<LI>	GE	--  Geek of Engineering
<LI>	GM	--  Geek of Math
<LI>	GMU	--  Geek of Music
<LI>	GB	--  Geek of Business
<LI>	GS	--  Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
<LI>	GSS	--  Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
<LI>	GT	--  Geek of Theatre
<LI>	GO	--  Geek of Other.  Some types of geeks deviate from the
		    normal geek activities.  This is encouraged as true geeks 
	 	    come from all walks of life.
<LI>	GU	--  Geek of 'Undecided'.  This is a popular vocation with
		    new freshmen.
</UL>  <P>


----------------------  <P>

Dress:  <P>

Geeks come in many different types of dress.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	d	I dress a lot like those in Walmart ads
<LI>	d+	I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the
		Whales" or "Free South Africa".
<LI>	d++	I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business
		suit.
<LI>	d-	I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the
		Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching".
<LI>	d--	I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss
<LI>	d---	At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on
		my shirt.

<LI>	d*	I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone
		what I wore yesterday.
<LI>	!d	No clothing.  Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?
</UL>  <P>


---------------------  <P>

Politics:  <P>

Just as the Geek's sense of fashion is varied, so is his/her political
convictions.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	p	Politics?  I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty
		I really don't give a shit.
<LI>	p+	Let's get the government off of big-business's back
<LI>	p++	All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye!
<LI>	p+++	Fuckin' Minorities!  Adolf Hitler is my hero!
<LI>	p-	Bring back the 60's
<LI>	p--	I'm still living in the 60's
<LI>	p---	No taxes through no government
	
<LI>	-p+	Don't label me you moron!  Both sides are equally fucked up!
</UL>  <P>

---------------------  <P>

Computers:  <P>

Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer
networks.  In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult
the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer
network'):  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	c	Computers are a tool, nothing more.  I use it when it serves
		my purpose.
<LI>	c+	Computers are fun and I enjoy using them.  I play a mean
		game of Wing Commander and can use a word processor without 
		resorting to the manual too often.  I know that a 3.5" disk 
		is not a hard disk.  I also know that when it says 'press any 
		key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'.
<LI>	c++	Computers are a large part of my existence.  When I get up
		in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in.  I mud 
		on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic 
		probation.
<LI>	c+++    You mean there is life outside of Internet?  You're shittin'
		me!  I live for muds.  I haven't dragged myself to class in
		weeks.
<LI>	c-	Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm
		screwed. 
<LI>	c--	Where's the on switch?
<LI>	c---	If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!
</UL>  <P>

-------------------  <P>

Linux:  <P>

Linux is a hacker-written computer language virtually identical to unix.  It
runs on your standard 386/486 PC computers and offers multitasking support
far superior to DOS.  Because it is still a young OS, and because it is
continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that
the geek list his Linux ability.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	l	I know what Linux is, but that's about all
<LI>	l+	I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few
		times.  It seems like it is just another OS.
<LI>	l++	I use Linux almost exclusively on my system.  I monitor
		comp.os.linux and even answer questions some times.  I've 
		aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier.
<LI>	l+++	I am a Linux wizard.  I munch C code for breakfast and have 
		enough room left over for a kernel debugging.  I have so
		many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions
		ago.  Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
<LI>	l-	I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats
		ass about it.
<LI>	l--	Unix sucks.  Because Linux = Unix.  Linux Sucks.  I worship
		Bill Gates.
</UL>  <P>

-------------------  <P>

Music:  <P>

Musical interests vary widely, also.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	m	I occasionally listen to the radio
<LI>	m+	I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you
		would be admitting how old you are).
<LI>	m++	I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age
		selections
<LI>	m+++	I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty
		elevator music.
<LI>	m-	Just play it loud
<LI>	m--	I play air-guitar better than anyone else.
<LI>	m---	LISTEN!  I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD!
	
<LI>	m*	I am an expert on so many types of music that I can't even
		keep them straight
</UL>  <P>

-------------------  <P>

Shape:  <P>

Geeks come in many shapes and sizes.  Shape code is divided into two parts. 
The first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness.  Mix each
section to fit yourself.  Examples include:  s/++, s++/, s++/--.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	s	I'm an average geek
<LI>	s+/+	I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
<LI>	s++/++  I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
<LI>	s+++/+++I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie 
		seats.
<LI>	s-/-	I look up to most people.  Everyone tells me to gain a 
		few pounds.
<LI>	s--/--  I look up to damn near everybody.  I tend to have to fight
		against a strong breeze. 
<LI>	s---/---I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to
		eat dinner.  My bones are poking through my skin.
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

Glasses:  <P>

Geeks have traditionally worn glasses.   <P>

<UL>
<LI>	!g	I have no glasses
<LI>	g+	I've got four eyes, what's your point?
<LI>	g++	I've got four eyes and tape in the middle
<LI>	g+++	I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on
		fire in the hot sun.
<LI>	g-	I have contacts
<LI>	g--	I have colored contacts 
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

Weirdness:  <P>

Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird".  Of course, this is
a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another person's normalness. 
As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers allow a geek to rate their
weirdness.   <P>

<UL>	
<LI>	w	I am not weird.  I'm perfectly normal.
<LI>	w+	so?  what's your problem with weird.
<LI>	w++	I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane.
<LI>	w+++	Mainstream?  I heard of that once, I think.
<LI>	w-	I'm more normal that most people normally are.
<LI>	w--	Isn't everyone in the p+ group?  
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

Star Trek:  <P>

Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television (in any of
its three forms).  Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE, it is
important that all geeks list their Trek rating.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	t	It's just another TV show
<LI>	t+	It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things
		good on television any more. 
<LI>	t++	It's not just a TV show, it's a religion.  I know all about
		warp field dynamics and the principles behind the
		transporter.  I have memorized the TECH manual.  I speak 
		Klingon.  I go to cons with Vulcan ears on.  I have no life.
<LI>	t-	Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal
		with Star Trek is.  Perhaps I'm missing something but I just
		think it is bad drama.
<LI>	t--	Star Trek SUCKS!  It is the worst crap I have ever seen! 
		Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE!  (William
		Shatner is a t--)
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

Role Playing:  <P>

Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the
traditional geek life.  Because geeks often become so involved in their
role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of the following
role-playing codes.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	r	Role-Playing?  That's just something to do to kill a 
		Saturday afternoon
<LI>	r+	I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I
		know better than I know myself.
<LI>	r++	There is no life outside the role of the die.  I know all of
		piddly rules of (chosen game).  _MY_ own warped rules scare 
		the rest of the players.  
<LI>	r+++    I worship E. Gary Gygax.
<LI>	r-	Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
<LI>	r--   	Role-Players worship SATAN!
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

Sex: (optional)  <P>

Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any). 
Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality for
that matter), it is important that the geek be willing to quantify their
sexual experiences.  <P>

**  This code is optional due to the fact that some people might consider it
    uncomfortable.  <P>

<UL>
<LI>	!x	Sex?  What's that?  I've had no sexual experiences.
<LI>	x+	I've had real, live sex.  I sometime exchange dirty emails
		with other people.
<LI>	x++	I was once referred to as 'easy'.  I have no idea where that
		might have come from though.
<LI>	x-	I prefer cybersex to real sex.  I sometimes exchange dirty
		looks with other people.
<LI>	x--	I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea
		where that might have come from.
</UL>  <P>

--------------------  <P>

The following geeks have come out of the closet to become an officially
registered Geek.  If you wish to register, just mail your Geek code and
real name to the author.  <P>

<PRE>
Name			Code (version 0.3) 
----------------------	------------------------------------------------- 
Robert A. Hayden	GSS d- p--/-p+ c++ l++ m+/* s-/++ g+ w++ t++ r++ x+ 

Name			Code (version 0.2 --  Have not upgraded yet)
----------------------	--------------------------------------------------
Derek W. Broughten	GCS d+/d-- -p+ c++ m+ s/+ !g w+ x+
Darryl Farr		GCS/S/M/O  d*/d-- p++/-p+ c++ m++ s+/s+++ g+ w++ !x
Anders Goransson	GE/M d++ -p+ c+ m+++ s !g w x+
Stephanie Lehr		GU d-- -p+ c+ m--- s/+ g+ w+++ x+/++
Andrew E. Marold	GCS d++/d-- -p+ c++ m++/m* s+/- g- w++ x+
Elaine May 		GCS d-- p- c++ m- s+/++ g+ w+ x+
Dawn Throener		GSS d -p+ c+ m+ s/- g+ w+ !x
</PRE>

The Geek Code is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden.  All rights reserved. 
You are free to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the  
contents are unchanged and this copyright notice remains attached.  <P>