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+From: hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu (Robert A. Hayden)
+Date: 11 Aug 93 10:46:30 -0600
+Message-ID: <1993Aug11.104630.5562@vax1.mankato.msus.edu>
+Newsgroups: alt.geek,rec.humor
+
+Suggestions welcome.
+
+Send them to:
+Robert A. Hayden:
+GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++ n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+
+ w++ t++ r++ y+(*)
+
+------------------ The Code of the Geeks v1.0.1 --------------------------
+---------------------- July 17, 1993 ------------------------------
+
+So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself
+your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks
+have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a
+geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever.
+
+How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code.
+By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this special code
+that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a
+simple, codified statement.
+
+The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code to
+signature file and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may give
+other geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might want to hang
+on to your copy of the code in order to help them along.
+
+---------------------
+INSTRUCTIONS:
+
+The geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with
+a letter and some qualifiers. Go through each category and determine which
+set of qualifiers best describes you in that category. By stringing all of
+these 'codes' together, you are able to construct your overall geek code.
+It is this single line of code that will inform other geeks the world over
+of what a great geek you actually are.
+
+Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly.
+Simply choose that qualifier that MOST CLOSELY matches you. Also, some
+activities described in a specific qualifier you may not engage in, while you
+do engage in others. Each description of each qualifier describes the wide
+range of activities that apply, so as long as you match with one, you can
+probably use that qualifier.
+
+----------------------
+
+VARIABLES:
+Geeks can seldom be quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any
+one category the geek may not be able determine a specific category,
+variables have been designed to allow this range to be included.
+
+ @ for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with
+ time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks
+ who happen to very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation,
+ but dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as
+ t++@.
+ () for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from
+ c+ to c--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "c+") could
+
+ use c+(---). Another example might be an m++(*). This
+ would be a person who mostly listens to classical music, but
+ also has an extensive collection of other types of works.
+
+ @ is different from () in that () has finite limits within the
+ category, while @ ranges all over.
+
+-----------------------
+
+Type:
+Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation of the
+particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to
+be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK",
+followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks occupation or field of
+study. Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocation should denote their
+myriad of talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/T).
+
+ GB -- Geek of Business
+ GCS -- Geek of Computer Science
+ GE -- Geek of Engineering
+ GM -- Geek of Math
+ GMU -- Geek of Music
+ GS -- Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
+ GSS -- Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
+ GT -- Geek of Theater
+
+ GO -- Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the
+ normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks
+ come from all walks of life.
+ GU -- Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with
+ new freshmen.
+
+ GAT -- Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do
+ anything and everything. GAT usually precludes the use
+ of other vocational descriptors.
+
+----------------------
+
+Dress:
+Geeks come in many different types of dress.
+
+ d I dress a lot like those in Walmart ads
+ d+ I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the
+ Whales" or "Free South Africa".
+ d++ I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business
+ suit.
+ d- I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the
+ Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching".
+ d-- I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss
+ d--- At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on
+ my shirt.
+
+ d? I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone
+ what I wore yesterday.
+ !d No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?
+ -d+ I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the
+ occasion, often forgetting to do laundry between wearings.
+
+---------------------
+
+Politics:
+Just as the Geek's sense of fashion is varied, so is his/her political
+convictions.
+
+ p Politics? I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty
+ I really don't give a shit.
+ p+ Let's get the government off of big-business's back
+ p++ All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye!
+ p+++ Fuckin' Minorities! Adolf Hitler is my hero!
+ p- Bring back the 60's
+ p-- I'm still living in the 60's
+ p--- No taxes through no government
+
+ -p+ Don't label me you moron! Both sides are equally fucked up!
+
+---------------------
+
+Computers:
+Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer
+networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult
+the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer
+network'):
+
+ c Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves
+ my purpose.
+ c+ Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean
+ game of Wing Commander and can use a word processor without
+ resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk
+ is not a hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any
+ key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled
+'ANY'.
+ c++ Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up
+ in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud
+ on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic
+ probation.
+ c+++ You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin'
+ me! I live for muds. I haven't dragged myself to class in
+ weeks.
+ c++++ I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface
+ installed into my skull.
+ c- Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm
+ screwed.
+ c-- Where's the on switch?
+ c--- If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!
+
+-------------------
+
+Linux:
+Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to unix. It
+runs on your standard 386/486 PC computers and offers multitasking support
+far superior to DOS. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is
+continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that
+the geek list his Linux ability.
+
+ l I know what Linux is, but that's about all
+ l+ I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few
+ times. It seems like it is just another OS.
+ l++ I use Linux almost exclusively on my system. I monitor
+ comp.os.linux and even answer questions some times. I've
+ aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier.
+ l+++ I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have
+ enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so
+ many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions
+ ago. Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
+ l- I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats
+ ass about it.
+ l-- Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship
+ Bill Gates.
+
+ !l I don't even use an 80x86 chip, so linux isn't really a
+ reality for me. (ie, Mac people).
+ l? What the hell is Linux? I've never even heard of it.
+
+-------------------
+
+Unix:
+Just as geeks sometimes use Linux, a great many geeks also use generic Unix
+machines to accomplish their geeky ends.
+
+ u I have a unix account to do my stuff in
+ u+ I not only have a unix account, but I slam VMS any chance I
+ get.
+ u++ I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am
+ always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs
+ that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking
+ /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.
+ u- I have a VMS account.
+ u-- I've seen unix and didn't like it. DEC rules!
+ u--- Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.
+
+--------------------
+Education:
+All geeks have a varying amount of education.
+
+ e K-12, been on a college campus.
+ e+ Started a B.S./B.A, plan to finish it some day.
+ e++ Had not learned enough to know better not to go back and try
+ for a master's degree.
+ e+++ Still pretty stupid, over qualified to work any job, went and
+ got my Ph.D.
+ e- Got my bachelors, escaped alive, and am making hoards of money
+ writing unmaintainable (except by me) software.
+ e-- The company I work for was dumb enough to fund my way through
+ a masters degree, then started paying me even more money.
+ e--- Achieved a Ph.D, have devoted my life to insignificant
+research,
+ which my employer pays dearly for.
+
+ e* I learned everything there is to know about life from the
+ "Hitchhiker's Trilogy".
+
+--------------------
+Music:
+Musical interests vary widely, also.
+
+ m I occasionally listen to the radio
+ m+ I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you
+ would be admitting how old you really are).
+ m++ I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age
+ selections
+ m+++ I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty
+ elevator music.
+ m- Just play it loud
+ m-- I play air-guitar better than anyone else.
+ m--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD!
+
+ m* I am an expert on so many types of music that I can't even
+ keep them straight
+
+-------------------
+
+Shape:
+Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts.
+The first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each
+section to fit yourself. Examples include: s/++, s++/, s++/--.
+
+ s I'm an average geek
+ s+/+ I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
+ s++/++ I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
+ s+++/+++I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie
+ seats.
+ s-/- I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a
+ few pounds.
+ s--/-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight
+ against a strong breeze.
+ s---/---I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to
+ eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.
+
+--------------------
+Nutrition:
+Geeks usually consume food. Some eat everything they can grab while some
+others are quite conscious of their food. (Note: 'n' is used for
+nutrition as 'f' is used elsewhere.)
+
+ !n Eh what? never mind the menu, give me something to eat!
+ n+ I like food - especially when it is healthy.
+ n++ I like the fibers in food
+ n- Food? I just grab something from the shelves with meat in it.
+ n-- I eat only the cheap things - even with artificial meat and
+ vegetables.
+ n--- I _live_ on snacks and coke.
+
+--------------------
+Housing:
+
+ h Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk
+ about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.
+ h+ Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than
+ once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.
+ h++ Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed,
+ located near a Dominoes pizza. See !d.
+ h- Living with one or more registered Geeks.
+ h-- Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a
+ Geek and refuse to watch 'Star Trek'.
+ h--- Married, with the potential for children. (persons living
+ with a fiance might as well label themselves h---, you're as
+ good as there already.)
+
+ h* I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems
+
+ like home to me.
+
+--------------------
+Friends:
+
+Yes, it's true; geeks do have friends. At least, some of them do.
+
+ f Yeah, I have friends. Who told you?
+ f+ I have quite a few really close friends. We get along great.
+ They are all other geeks, though.
+ f++ I have so many friends, I make other people jealous.
+ f- I have a few friends. They barely seem to speak to me
+anymore.
+ f-- I've got about one friend left in the world, who probably
+ wants to shoot me.
+
+ f? I *think* I have friends.
+ f* Everyone is my friend.
+ !f I have no friends. Get lost.
+
+---------------------
+Glasses:
+Geeks have traditionally worn glasses.
+
+ !g I have no glasses
+ g+ I've got four eyes, what's your point?
+ g++ I've got four eyes and tape in the middle
+ g+++ I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on
+ fire in the hot sun.
+ g- I have contacts
+ g-- I have colored contacts
+ g--- I have those funky contact that have interesting designs on
+ them such as happy faces or some such.
+
+--------------------
+
+Weirdness:
+Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird". Of course, this is
+a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another person's normalness.
+As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers allow a geek to rate their
+weirdness.
+
+ w I am not weird. I'm perfectly normal.
+ w+ so? what's your problem with weird.
+ w++ I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane.
+ w+++ Mainstream? I heard of that once, I think.
+ w- I'm more normal that most people normally are.
+ w-- Isn't everyone in the p+ group?
+
+--------------------
+
+Star Trek:
+Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television (in any of
+its three forms). Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE, it is
+important that all geeks list their Trek rating.
+
+ t It's just another TV show
+ t+ It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things
+ good on television any more.
+ t++ It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the
+ movies on tape and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've
+ built a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me
+ at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks.
+ t+++ It's not just a TV show, its a religion. I know all about
+ warp field dynamics and the principles behind the
+ transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak
+ Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life.
+ t- Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal
+ with Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just
+ think it is bad drama.
+ t-- Star Trek is just another Space Opera. William Shatner isn't
+ an actor, he's a poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard?
+
+ A Frenchman with a British accent? Come on. I'd only watch
+ this show if my remote control broke.
+ t--- Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen!
+ Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William
+ Shatner is a t---)
+
+--------------------
+
+Role Playing:
+Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the
+traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their
+role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of the following
+role-playing codes.
+
+ r Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a
+ Saturday afternoon
+ r+ I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I
+ know better than I know myself.
+ r++ There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of
+ piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare
+ the rest of the players.
+ r+++ I worship E. Gary Gygax.
+ r- Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
+ r-- Role-Players worship SATAN!
+
+--------------------
+
+Sex:
+Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any).
+Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality for
+that matter), it is important that the geek be willing to quantify their
+sexual experiences.
+
+This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use 'x' in
+this category, while males use 'y'. For example:
+ x+ A female who has had sex
+ y+ A male who has had sex.
+
+For those person who do not wish to give out any details of their sex life,
+the use of x? (where x is the gender code) will allow you to so.
+
+ !x Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences.
+ x+ I've had real, live sex.
+ x++ I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that
+ might have come from though.
+ x- I prefer computer sex to real sex.
+ x-- I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea
+ where that might have come from.
+
+ x* I'm a pervert.
+ x** I've been known to make perverts look like angels.
+
+ x? It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this
+ is used to denote your gender only).
+
+* * * * * * * * *
+
+The Geek Code is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden. All rights reserved.
+You are free to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the
+contents are unchanged and this copyright notice remains attached.
+
+
+
+--
+{[> Robert A. Hayden ____ #include <]}
+{[> \ /__ ------------------------------- <]}
+{[> aq650@slc4.INS.CWRU.Edu \/ / Bigotry is what is incompatible <]}
+{[> hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu \/ with military service. <]}
+-=-=-
+GEEK CODE v1.0.1: GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++
+ n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+ w++ t++ r++ y+(*)
+
+