diff --git a/Geek Code 1.0.1.html b/Geek Code 1.0.1.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a9bd12 --- /dev/null +++ b/Geek Code 1.0.1.html @@ -0,0 +1,448 @@ +From: hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu (Robert A. Hayden) +Date: 11 Aug 93 10:46:30 -0600 +Message-ID: <1993Aug11.104630.5562@vax1.mankato.msus.edu> +Newsgroups: alt.geek,rec.humor + +Suggestions welcome. + +Send them to: +Robert A. Hayden: +GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++ n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+ + w++ t++ r++ y+(*) + +------------------ The Code of the Geeks v1.0.1 -------------------------- +---------------------- July 17, 1993 ------------------------------ + +So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself +your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks +have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a +geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever. + +How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code. +By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this special code +that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a +simple, codified statement. + +The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code to +signature file and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may give +other geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might want to hang +on to your copy of the code in order to help them along. + +--------------------- +INSTRUCTIONS: + +The geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with +a letter and some qualifiers. Go through each category and determine which +set of qualifiers best describes you in that category. By stringing all of +these 'codes' together, you are able to construct your overall geek code. +It is this single line of code that will inform other geeks the world over +of what a great geek you actually are. + +Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly. +Simply choose that qualifier that MOST CLOSELY matches you. Also, some +activities described in a specific qualifier you may not engage in, while you +do engage in others. Each description of each qualifier describes the wide +range of activities that apply, so as long as you match with one, you can +probably use that qualifier. + +---------------------- + +VARIABLES: +Geeks can seldom be quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any +one category the geek may not be able determine a specific category, +variables have been designed to allow this range to be included. + + @ for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with + time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks + who happen to very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, + but dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as + t++@. + () for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from + c+ to c--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "c+") could + + use c+(---). Another example might be an m++(*). This + would be a person who mostly listens to classical music, but + also has an extensive collection of other types of works. + + @ is different from () in that () has finite limits within the + category, while @ ranges all over. + +----------------------- + +Type: +Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation of the +particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to +be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", +followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks occupation or field of +study. Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocation should denote their +myriad of talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/T). + + GB -- Geek of Business + GCS -- Geek of Computer Science + GE -- Geek of Engineering + GM -- Geek of Math + GMU -- Geek of Music + GS -- Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.) + GSS -- Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.) + GT -- Geek of Theater + + GO -- Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the + normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks + come from all walks of life. + GU -- Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with + new freshmen. + + GAT -- Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do + anything and everything. GAT usually precludes the use + of other vocational descriptors. + +---------------------- + +Dress: +Geeks come in many different types of dress. + + d I dress a lot like those in Walmart ads + d+ I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the + Whales" or "Free South Africa". + d++ I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business + suit. + d- I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the + Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching". + d-- I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss + d--- At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on + my shirt. + + d? I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone + what I wore yesterday. + !d No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think? + -d+ I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the + occasion, often forgetting to do laundry between wearings. + +--------------------- + +Politics: +Just as the Geek's sense of fashion is varied, so is his/her political +convictions. + + p Politics? I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty + I really don't give a shit. + p+ Let's get the government off of big-business's back + p++ All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye! + p+++ Fuckin' Minorities! Adolf Hitler is my hero! + p- Bring back the 60's + p-- I'm still living in the 60's + p--- No taxes through no government + + -p+ Don't label me you moron! Both sides are equally fucked up! + +--------------------- + +Computers: +Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer +networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult +the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer +network'): + + c Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves + my purpose. + c+ Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean + game of Wing Commander and can use a word processor without + resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk + is not a hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any + key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled +'ANY'. + c++ Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up + in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud + on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic + probation. + c+++ You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' + me! I live for muds. I haven't dragged myself to class in + weeks. + c++++ I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface + installed into my skull. + c- Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm + screwed. + c-- Where's the on switch? + c--- If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off! + +------------------- + +Linux: +Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to unix. It +runs on your standard 386/486 PC computers and offers multitasking support +far superior to DOS. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is +continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that +the geek list his Linux ability. + + l I know what Linux is, but that's about all + l+ I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few + times. It seems like it is just another OS. + l++ I use Linux almost exclusively on my system. I monitor + comp.os.linux and even answer questions some times. I've + aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier. + l+++ I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have + enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so + many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions + ago. Linux newbies consider me a net.god. + l- I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats + ass about it. + l-- Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship + Bill Gates. + + !l I don't even use an 80x86 chip, so linux isn't really a + reality for me. (ie, Mac people). + l? What the hell is Linux? I've never even heard of it. + +------------------- + +Unix: +Just as geeks sometimes use Linux, a great many geeks also use generic Unix +machines to accomplish their geeky ends. + + u I have a unix account to do my stuff in + u+ I not only have a unix account, but I slam VMS any chance I + get. + u++ I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am + always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs + that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking + /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone. + u- I have a VMS account. + u-- I've seen unix and didn't like it. DEC rules! + u--- Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise. + +-------------------- +Education: +All geeks have a varying amount of education. + + e K-12, been on a college campus. + e+ Started a B.S./B.A, plan to finish it some day. + e++ Had not learned enough to know better not to go back and try + for a master's degree. + e+++ Still pretty stupid, over qualified to work any job, went and + got my Ph.D. + e- Got my bachelors, escaped alive, and am making hoards of money + writing unmaintainable (except by me) software. + e-- The company I work for was dumb enough to fund my way through + a masters degree, then started paying me even more money. + e--- Achieved a Ph.D, have devoted my life to insignificant +research, + which my employer pays dearly for. + + e* I learned everything there is to know about life from the + "Hitchhiker's Trilogy". + +-------------------- +Music: +Musical interests vary widely, also. + + m I occasionally listen to the radio + m+ I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you + would be admitting how old you really are). + m++ I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age + selections + m+++ I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty + elevator music. + m- Just play it loud + m-- I play air-guitar better than anyone else. + m--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD! + + m* I am an expert on so many types of music that I can't even + keep them straight + +------------------- + +Shape: +Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts. +The first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each +section to fit yourself. Examples include: s/++, s++/, s++/--. + + s I'm an average geek + s+/+ I'm a little taller/rounder than most. + s++/++ I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate. + s+++/+++I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie + seats. + s-/- I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a + few pounds. + s--/-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight + against a strong breeze. + s---/---I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to + eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin. + +-------------------- +Nutrition: +Geeks usually consume food. Some eat everything they can grab while some +others are quite conscious of their food. (Note: 'n' is used for +nutrition as 'f' is used elsewhere.) + + !n Eh what? never mind the menu, give me something to eat! + n+ I like food - especially when it is healthy. + n++ I like the fibers in food + n- Food? I just grab something from the shelves with meat in it. + n-- I eat only the cheap things - even with artificial meat and + vegetables. + n--- I _live_ on snacks and coke. + +-------------------- +Housing: + + h Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk + about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit. + h+ Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than + once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered. + h++ Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed, + located near a Dominoes pizza. See !d. + h- Living with one or more registered Geeks. + h-- Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a + Geek and refuse to watch 'Star Trek'. + h--- Married, with the potential for children. (persons living + with a fiance might as well label themselves h---, you're as + good as there already.) + + h* I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems + + like home to me. + +-------------------- +Friends: + +Yes, it's true; geeks do have friends. At least, some of them do. + + f Yeah, I have friends. Who told you? + f+ I have quite a few really close friends. We get along great. + They are all other geeks, though. + f++ I have so many friends, I make other people jealous. + f- I have a few friends. They barely seem to speak to me +anymore. + f-- I've got about one friend left in the world, who probably + wants to shoot me. + + f? I *think* I have friends. + f* Everyone is my friend. + !f I have no friends. Get lost. + +--------------------- +Glasses: +Geeks have traditionally worn glasses. + + !g I have no glasses + g+ I've got four eyes, what's your point? + g++ I've got four eyes and tape in the middle + g+++ I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on + fire in the hot sun. + g- I have contacts + g-- I have colored contacts + g--- I have those funky contact that have interesting designs on + them such as happy faces or some such. + +-------------------- + +Weirdness: +Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird". Of course, this is +a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another person's normalness. +As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers allow a geek to rate their +weirdness. + + w I am not weird. I'm perfectly normal. + w+ so? what's your problem with weird. + w++ I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane. + w+++ Mainstream? I heard of that once, I think. + w- I'm more normal that most people normally are. + w-- Isn't everyone in the p+ group? + +-------------------- + +Star Trek: +Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television (in any of +its three forms). Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE, it is +important that all geeks list their Trek rating. + + t It's just another TV show + t+ It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things + good on television any more. + t++ It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the + movies on tape and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've + built a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me + at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks. + t+++ It's not just a TV show, its a religion. I know all about + warp field dynamics and the principles behind the + transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak + Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life. + t- Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal + with Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just + think it is bad drama. + t-- Star Trek is just another Space Opera. William Shatner isn't + an actor, he's a poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard? + + A Frenchman with a British accent? Come on. I'd only watch + this show if my remote control broke. + t--- Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! + Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William + Shatner is a t---) + +-------------------- + +Role Playing: +Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the +traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their +role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of the following +role-playing codes. + + r Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a + Saturday afternoon + r+ I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I + know better than I know myself. + r++ There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of + piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare + the rest of the players. + r+++ I worship E. Gary Gygax. + r- Gosh, what an utter waste of time! + r-- Role-Players worship SATAN! + +-------------------- + +Sex: +Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any). +Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality for +that matter), it is important that the geek be willing to quantify their +sexual experiences. + +This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use 'x' in +this category, while males use 'y'. For example: + x+ A female who has had sex + y+ A male who has had sex. + +For those person who do not wish to give out any details of their sex life, +the use of x? (where x is the gender code) will allow you to so. + + !x Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences. + x+ I've had real, live sex. + x++ I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that + might have come from though. + x- I prefer computer sex to real sex. + x-- I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea + where that might have come from. + + x* I'm a pervert. + x** I've been known to make perverts look like angels. + + x? It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this + is used to denote your gender only). + +* * * * * * * * * + +The Geek Code is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden. All rights reserved. +You are free to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the +contents are unchanged and this copyright notice remains attached. + + + +-- +{[> Robert A. Hayden ____ #include <]} +{[> \ /__ ------------------------------- <]} +{[> aq650@slc4.INS.CWRU.Edu \/ / Bigotry is what is incompatible <]} +{[> hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu \/ with military service. <]} +-=-=- +GEEK CODE v1.0.1: GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++ + n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+ w++ t++ r++ y+(*) + +