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Why link to examples of Geek Code on the web when we maintain geek code on the web? Here's a backup of the geek code version 1.0.1, now archived on GitHub where it belongs.
449 lines
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449 lines
20 KiB
HTML
From: hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu (Robert A. Hayden)
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Date: 11 Aug 93 10:46:30 -0600
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Message-ID: <1993Aug11.104630.5562@vax1.mankato.msus.edu>
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Newsgroups: alt.geek,rec.humor
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Suggestions welcome.
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Send them to:
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Robert A. Hayden: <hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu>
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GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++ n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+
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w++ t++ r++ y+(*)
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------------------ The Code of the Geeks v1.0.1 --------------------------
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---------------------- July 17, 1993 ------------------------------
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So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself
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your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks
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have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you are a
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geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you forever.
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How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code.
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By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this special code
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that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a
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simple, codified statement.
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The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code to
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signature file and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may give
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other geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might want to hang
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on to your copy of the code in order to help them along.
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---------------------
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INSTRUCTIONS:
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The geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with
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a letter and some qualifiers. Go through each category and determine which
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set of qualifiers best describes you in that category. By stringing all of
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these 'codes' together, you are able to construct your overall geek code.
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It is this single line of code that will inform other geeks the world over
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of what a great geek you actually are.
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Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly.
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Simply choose that qualifier that MOST CLOSELY matches you. Also, some
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activities described in a specific qualifier you may not engage in, while you
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do engage in others. Each description of each qualifier describes the wide
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range of activities that apply, so as long as you match with one, you can
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probably use that qualifier.
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----------------------
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VARIABLES:
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Geeks can seldom be quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any
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one category the geek may not be able determine a specific category,
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variables have been designed to allow this range to be included.
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@ for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with
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time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks
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who happen to very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation,
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but dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as
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t++@.
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() for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from
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c+ to c--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "c+") could
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use c+(---). Another example might be an m++(*). This
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would be a person who mostly listens to classical music, but
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also has an extensive collection of other types of works.
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@ is different from () in that () has finite limits within the
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category, while @ ranges all over.
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-----------------------
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Type:
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Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation of the
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particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to
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be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK",
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followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks occupation or field of
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study. Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocation should denote their
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myriad of talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/T).
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GB -- Geek of Business
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GCS -- Geek of Computer Science
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GE -- Geek of Engineering
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GM -- Geek of Math
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GMU -- Geek of Music
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GS -- Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
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GSS -- Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
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GT -- Geek of Theater
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GO -- Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the
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normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks
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come from all walks of life.
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GU -- Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with
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new freshmen.
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GAT -- Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do
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anything and everything. GAT usually precludes the use
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of other vocational descriptors.
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----------------------
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Dress:
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Geeks come in many different types of dress.
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d I dress a lot like those in Walmart ads
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d+ I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the
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Whales" or "Free South Africa".
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d++ I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business
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suit.
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d- I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the
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Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching".
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d-- I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss
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d--- At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on
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my shirt.
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d? I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone
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what I wore yesterday.
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!d No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?
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-d+ I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the
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occasion, often forgetting to do laundry between wearings.
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---------------------
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Politics:
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Just as the Geek's sense of fashion is varied, so is his/her political
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convictions.
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p Politics? I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty
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I really don't give a shit.
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p+ Let's get the government off of big-business's back
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p++ All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye!
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p+++ Fuckin' Minorities! Adolf Hitler is my hero!
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p- Bring back the 60's
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p-- I'm still living in the 60's
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p--- No taxes through no government
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-p+ Don't label me you moron! Both sides are equally fucked up!
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---------------------
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Computers:
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Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer
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networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult
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the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with 'computer
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network'):
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c Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves
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my purpose.
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c+ Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean
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game of Wing Commander and can use a word processor without
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resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk
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is not a hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any
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key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled
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'ANY'.
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c++ Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up
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in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud
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on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic
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probation.
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c+++ You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin'
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me! I live for muds. I haven't dragged myself to class in
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weeks.
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c++++ I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface
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installed into my skull.
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c- Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm
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screwed.
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c-- Where's the on switch?
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c--- If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!
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-------------------
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Linux:
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Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to unix. It
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runs on your standard 386/486 PC computers and offers multitasking support
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far superior to DOS. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is
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continually evolving from hacker changes and support, it is important that
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the geek list his Linux ability.
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l I know what Linux is, but that's about all
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l+ I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few
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times. It seems like it is just another OS.
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l++ I use Linux almost exclusively on my system. I monitor
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comp.os.linux and even answer questions some times. I've
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aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier.
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l+++ I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have
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enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so
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many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions
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ago. Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
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l- I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats
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ass about it.
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l-- Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship
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Bill Gates.
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!l I don't even use an 80x86 chip, so linux isn't really a
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reality for me. (ie, Mac people).
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l? What the hell is Linux? I've never even heard of it.
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-------------------
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Unix:
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Just as geeks sometimes use Linux, a great many geeks also use generic Unix
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machines to accomplish their geeky ends.
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u I have a unix account to do my stuff in
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u+ I not only have a unix account, but I slam VMS any chance I
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get.
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u++ I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am
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always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs
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that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking
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/etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.
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u- I have a VMS account.
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u-- I've seen unix and didn't like it. DEC rules!
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u--- Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.
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--------------------
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Education:
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All geeks have a varying amount of education.
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e K-12, been on a college campus.
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e+ Started a B.S./B.A, plan to finish it some day.
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e++ Had not learned enough to know better not to go back and try
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for a master's degree.
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e+++ Still pretty stupid, over qualified to work any job, went and
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got my Ph.D.
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e- Got my bachelors, escaped alive, and am making hoards of money
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writing unmaintainable (except by me) software.
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e-- The company I work for was dumb enough to fund my way through
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a masters degree, then started paying me even more money.
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e--- Achieved a Ph.D, have devoted my life to insignificant
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research,
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which my employer pays dearly for.
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e* I learned everything there is to know about life from the
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"Hitchhiker's Trilogy".
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--------------------
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Music:
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Musical interests vary widely, also.
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m I occasionally listen to the radio
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m+ I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you
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would be admitting how old you really are).
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m++ I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age
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selections
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m+++ I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty
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elevator music.
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m- Just play it loud
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m-- I play air-guitar better than anyone else.
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m--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD!
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m* I am an expert on so many types of music that I can't even
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keep them straight
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-------------------
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Shape:
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Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts.
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The first indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each
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section to fit yourself. Examples include: s/++, s++/, s++/--.
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s I'm an average geek
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s+/+ I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
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s++/++ I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
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s+++/+++I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie
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seats.
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s-/- I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a
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few pounds.
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s--/-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight
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against a strong breeze.
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s---/---I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to
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eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.
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--------------------
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Nutrition:
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Geeks usually consume food. Some eat everything they can grab while some
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others are quite conscious of their food. (Note: 'n' is used for
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nutrition as 'f' is used elsewhere.)
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!n Eh what? never mind the menu, give me something to eat!
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n+ I like food - especially when it is healthy.
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n++ I like the fibers in food
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n- Food? I just grab something from the shelves with meat in it.
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n-- I eat only the cheap things - even with artificial meat and
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vegetables.
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n--- I _live_ on snacks and coke.
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--------------------
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Housing:
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h Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk
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about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.
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h+ Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than
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once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.
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h++ Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed,
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located near a Dominoes pizza. See !d.
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h- Living with one or more registered Geeks.
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h-- Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a
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Geek and refuse to watch 'Star Trek'.
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h--- Married, with the potential for children. (persons living
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with a fiance might as well label themselves h---, you're as
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good as there already.)
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h* I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems
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like home to me.
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--------------------
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Friends:
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Yes, it's true; geeks do have friends. At least, some of them do.
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f Yeah, I have friends. Who told you?
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f+ I have quite a few really close friends. We get along great.
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They are all other geeks, though.
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f++ I have so many friends, I make other people jealous.
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f- I have a few friends. They barely seem to speak to me
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anymore.
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f-- I've got about one friend left in the world, who probably
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wants to shoot me.
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f? I *think* I have friends.
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f* Everyone is my friend.
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!f I have no friends. Get lost.
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---------------------
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Glasses:
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Geeks have traditionally worn glasses.
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!g I have no glasses
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g+ I've got four eyes, what's your point?
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g++ I've got four eyes and tape in the middle
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g+++ I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on
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fire in the hot sun.
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g- I have contacts
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g-- I have colored contacts
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g--- I have those funky contact that have interesting designs on
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them such as happy faces or some such.
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--------------------
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Weirdness:
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Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird". Of course, this is
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a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another person's normalness.
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As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers allow a geek to rate their
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weirdness.
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w I am not weird. I'm perfectly normal.
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w+ so? what's your problem with weird.
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w++ I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane.
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w+++ Mainstream? I heard of that once, I think.
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w- I'm more normal that most people normally are.
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w-- Isn't everyone in the p+ group?
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--------------------
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Star Trek:
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Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television (in any of
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its three forms). Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE, it is
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important that all geeks list their Trek rating.
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t It's just another TV show
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t+ It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things
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good on television any more.
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t++ It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the
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movies on tape and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've
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built a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me
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at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks.
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t+++ It's not just a TV show, its a religion. I know all about
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warp field dynamics and the principles behind the
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transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak
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Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life.
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t- Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal
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with Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just
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think it is bad drama.
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t-- Star Trek is just another Space Opera. William Shatner isn't
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an actor, he's a poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard?
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A Frenchman with a British accent? Come on. I'd only watch
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this show if my remote control broke.
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t--- Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen!
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Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William
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Shatner is a t---)
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--------------------
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Role Playing:
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Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the
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traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their
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role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of the following
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role-playing codes.
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r Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a
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Saturday afternoon
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r+ I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I
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know better than I know myself.
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r++ There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of
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piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare
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the rest of the players.
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r+++ I worship E. Gary Gygax.
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r- Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
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r-- Role-Players worship SATAN!
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--------------------
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Sex:
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Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any).
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Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality for
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that matter), it is important that the geek be willing to quantify their
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sexual experiences.
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This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use 'x' in
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this category, while males use 'y'. For example:
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x+ A female who has had sex
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y+ A male who has had sex.
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For those person who do not wish to give out any details of their sex life,
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the use of x? (where x is the gender code) will allow you to so.
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!x Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences.
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x+ I've had real, live sex.
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x++ I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that
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might have come from though.
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x- I prefer computer sex to real sex.
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x-- I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea
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where that might have come from.
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x* I'm a pervert.
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x** I've been known to make perverts look like angels.
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x? It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this
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is used to denote your gender only).
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* * * * * * * * *
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The Geek Code is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden. All rights reserved.
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You are free to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the
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contents are unchanged and this copyright notice remains attached.
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--
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{[> Robert A. Hayden ____ #include <std_disclaimer.h> <]}
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{[> \ /__ ------------------------------- <]}
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{[> aq650@slc4.INS.CWRU.Edu \/ / Bigotry is what is incompatible <]}
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{[> hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu \/ with military service. <]}
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-=-=-
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GEEK CODE v1.0.1: GSS d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++
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n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+ w++ t++ r++ y+(*)
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